Some Relations. ..!!

Some relations are too sublime

Defining them is mundane_a crime.

They are wrapped in an understanding;

For words, too intricate,

For knowing, too elaborate.

Relations as encompassing as a deep conviction,

That their absence is a whammy a silent corrosion.

Relations like a mirage a sheer contradiction,

Their existence a dissipation,  yet for vision an affirmation.

They’re bound to overlap each other,

They’re wired to wrought each other,

They’re their own annihilation,

They’re their own supplication,

They fall apart yet never depart.

Their code is unique in its imperfection.

Their path is straight in its aberration.

Infinite in their mortality,

Immortal in their fragility,

These relations are larger than life itself;

More certain than death,

Far celestial than heaven & hell.

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I wonder…!

I wonder, am I too old and seen it all

Or have I endured more than my sins had committed to.

It might be that my trials have lost their ability to shake me?

I wonder, why, when deeper the infliction is,

The bigger is my indifference or the eerie poise that follows.

[The biggest is my fleeing from my own cremation]

It is just a cold smile and a sour recognition

That incinerate my lips & eyes in acknowledgment of new torment. 

I wonder, Who’s that monster within me?

feeding on my crumbling, then whispering triumphantly;.

“it’s not new, let it go & let me live for I’m your saviour”

[In that moment of doom, I can’t hate that monster]

I wonder, How an ominous sense of deja-vu cradles me in its arms

When my expectatins, love & trust backlash…

It’s then that monster wakes up from slumber, again,

with sympathetic albeit determined eyes,

Clawing my grief, sucking on pain, marking me..

Yet freeing me, letting me escape my burial once again.

[Only to wear that nonchalant calm demeanour & cutting smile.]

I wonder, what’s my true identity?

The monster within, who numbs the sting of the backlash

or the one that’s me_the whole being_ loving unconditionally.

It’s sobering to know that every joy_if i come across any_

shocks me to the core;

Unreal & mistaken it appears, like it is only here to leave.

Other than that all seems happened, known & done.

I wonder is this a punishment or a power or a twist of both?

 

 

 

 

“Confession”

I deserve you like an innocent forgotten prisoner deserves freedom & return of all that he lost, rightly.

I seek you like a poor famished sailer seeks the favourable flow of wind & calm waters, greedily.

I look at you like a caravan of devotees worship the first sight of a monastery, adoringly.

I savour you like a starving child takes the first bite of favourite meal, feels heaven invaded the taste buds, giddily.

I cherish you like a rain deprived soil welcomes the first droplet by exuding her ethereal arousal, fragrantly.

I know you like beating of my own heart, within me, keeping me alive, revitalising me, faithfully.

(CONFESSION 2)

‪In my richest moments‬

When I think about your parting gaze

(Two spears of quiet fire marked me forever)

My heart turns into a beggar

All treasures of the world become ashes

And everything lick the dust of your path.

“December Days…”

All forgotten vows recalled, woes steeped,

All voids widened, prickly anxieties peaked.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…

Amidst torment of despair and thrill of hope,

Treasure of fond memories, tears unleashed.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…

Every night is a stab, every dawn a wound,

For I counted the betrayals I have received.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…

A confouding trance an ensnaring beauty

Resurrecting the dreams, I silently buried.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…

Amid misty silence and soul digging cold,

Long hushed desires pleading to be freed.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…

A searing kiss, burning touch and an embrace,

Urge to feel and own, as craved as perceived.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…

Love or lust, anger or pain, care or hate,

Melting differences between lost and achieved.

December days are but a bittersweet treat…